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Stories that bring the heat and the sweet

219 notes

never-obey asked: What was your "peak trans" moment? When did you decide that enough is enough?

kutekweer:

the-fly-agaric:

plansfornigel:

stfutransactivistbullies:

Oh my goodness, there wasn’t one moment, but several (really, hundreds of moments). @_@

Some moments that stand out (keep in mind this was over several months and is just a small amount of the crap):

- the time a self-identified trans ‘woman’ talked about wanting to bash in the faces (and with a brick!) of women because the women said that person wasn’t pretty, and when that person was told they were displaying their male socialization, they claimed transphobia

- the time a very extensive discussion about abortion and women’s reproductive rights and health got completely derailed by transactivist bullies who said the topic was transphobic, transmisogynistic and cissexist because “some women have penises”

- when anything referring to women was considered cissexist and transphobic and ‘triggering’

- people being bullied so badly they stopped using ‘women’ and ‘men’ as terms and started using ‘people with vaginas/uteruses/uteri’ and ‘people with penises’

- EVERY single topic or discussion being interrupted with those ridiculous disclaimers of “some women have penises” and “some men have vaginas”

- when they started saying women of color were especially oppressive to trans women, and people started believing them

- lesbians being shamed for not having sex with trans women and being told to ‘examine’ why and being told they need trans women to fuck them anyway to force them to get over their aversion

- “lady dick/lady penis”

- the fact that ‘transmisogynistic’ even became a thing

- “trans women are women. period” “trans women ARE biological women”

- Lavern Cox saying it’s an act of violence to call a trans woman a man, but still using the word ‘bitch’ and people praising Lavern Cox

- when trans women, because they got mad at Cathy Brennan, started targeting her CHILDREN for violence; also, that video in which Cathy Brennan is cornered by trans women and their allies and they yell at her; I swear if the camera had not been there they most likely would have physically assaulted her

- people starting to say that trans women make better women than actual women

- white trans women (and black trans women, and anyone who isn’t a black woman but is still a transactivist) appropriating the mannerisms and vernacular of black women

- those damn terf lists

- violence against women being justified if trans women get their feelings hurt

- when actual trans women started speaking out against the bullshit and they got dismissed or silenced and harassed, too

- the fact that people questioning the transactivist logic have to do so on anon or under alternate blogs, and even showing open support for those who do gets people harassed

- people trying to say CHILDREN who aren’t gender conforming are trans

- when people who aren’t trans started saying “I hate cis people”

- that ‘cis’ even became a thing

- that they claim women are raping trans women, but when trans women actually do rape women they either stay silent or claim the victims were lying

- statistics about trans women of color being assaulted or murdered or homeless or [insert other bad experience] being used as weapons by white trans women who don’t give a shit about trans women of color

- when people started believing that trans women are way more oppressed than women and that they face higher rates of violence than women (a blatant lie that is now believed as true)

- the bullshit idea about identity and claiming people don’t even have to experience body dysphoria to be trans

- the simultaneous demanding that trans women be accepted into all women’s spaces, while claiming women are the biggest threat to trans women

- that women are blamed for all the things MEN do to trans women

- people thinking a person being trans or supporting trans people makes their misogyny okay

- that anytime someone points out the bad behavior of the transactivists, the transactivists always demand proof (as if dozens and hundreds of people experiencing the same thing from them wasn’t proof enough)

- they protect rapists and murderers and child molesters and pedophiles just because those disgusting perverts are trans or claim to be trans

yeah, my peak trans was cotton ceiling, but i was still trying to dismiss this as the actions of bad actors, but then i started reading the TransAdvocate and Tobi Hill-Meyer’s Transanarchist and everyone the Huffington Post publishes and i was like, mainstream trans politics is a movement that is chock full of MRAs-white males that want women to submit- flat out, they care only for themselves and white male supremacists that identify as women are still white male supremacists

and i just gave up on the idea that mainstream trans activism gives a damn about women and that trans activism has a place in feminism when Wendy Davis was doing her filibuster to try to protect women’s access to abortion in Texas and Jos Truitt editor at Feministing thought it would be a great idea to write an editorial on how feminism shouldn’t focus so much on reproductive rights because “woman ≠ vagina” and feminism should focus on Jos instead. that made me realize that feminism needs to be about females, because males will always put themselves first and make feminism about them. women have to prioritize females, no one else will.

My peak genderist was when someone told me, I was privileged because I didnt understand that being a sex object would be a step up the ladder of privilege for transwomen…. and therefore the sexual objectification of me and my body was a privilege

Look at this fucking bull shit look at these disgusting twerfs over half this list are legitimate concerns of trans women and trans men (but notice how 99% of that list is against trans women) and so much if this is racist an omfg…..

144 notes

yoursocialconstructsareshowing asked: the deaths and disappearances of your friends made me so sad. i'm sorry. that janet mock thinks it's okay to say prostitution is a "rite of passage" and a thing trans women "need to do" is just more unnecessary, individualist b.s. because let's face it, she was one of the LUCKY ones.

appropriately-inappropriate:

snowflakeespecial:

spacedyke:

carapherneliatakesthesquare:

snowflakeespecial:

This subject is really complicated. What specifically pisses me off about Janet’s essay about sex work is that first of all, I don’t believe she was ever engaged in it in a serious way (meaning - maybe she hung around one summer and turned a few tricks “for fun”, but she definitely wasn’t trying to make a living doing it), and second of all she glamorizes it and downplays the inherent danger.

And guess what? “Destigmatizing” prostitution isn’t going to change the violence, because there are a lot of men whose sexuality is based on non-consexual sex and/or outright violence, and many men with this sexuality prefer anonymous partners. So attributing violence against prostituted people to the “stigma” against sex workers, like Mock does, is both naive and disingenuous. Whether or not prostitution is looked at as a “valid career choice”, it’s always going to be easier for a “maniac” to get away with killing an anonymous woman they picked up on a street corner rather than their next-door neighboor or their wife/girlfriend.

And I put “maniac” in quotes because that was the word that a lot of the women I knew used to describe the really scary clients. Every person who has ever done worked as a prostitute for long enough has had to deal with one of these. Not all men who hire prostitutes are evil and/or violent, but the scumbags are always going to be there.

When Janet lists Melissa Gira Grant as a “resource for sex workers” I seriously want to fucking vomit. This is the epitome of college-educated, white privilege, dick-pleasing “edgy feminism”. Meaning: female MRA. She’s doing a reading in a few weeks - who wants to go with me to ask her why she choose such a woman-hating cover for her book? Seriously, hit me up!

The sad reality is that sex work does serve as a rite of passage for many trans girls. (Specifically, I say trans girls to mean mtf’s who begin transition as teens, and/or are fully transitioned as young adults.) In the 90’s, there was a very active street prostitution scene in Boston. There were the blocks where females worked, there was the boy block (where so-called “gay for pay” guys worked, and also some twinky gay boys), and then there was the “girl block” where the trans girls worked. During my time doing street outreach/having friends who did survival sex work, I saw a number of males move from the boy block to the girl block, as their transitions progressed.

I always encouraged them to at least work out of the bar, from a harm reduction perspective. That way they wouldn’t get arrested for “common nightwalking”, they had longer to interact with the guys and use their maniac intuition, and everyone else would see who they left with. But since it was a bar, this only helped if the trans girl was 21+.

But the uncomfortable reality of Janet casting sex work as a rite of passage is that many trans women get a kind of personal validation out of men being attracted to them “as women”, which is extremely important to them, and which I’m pretty sure has no direct analog in the female experience. I’ve definitely had female friends who got into sex work to “feel empowered” by guys thinking they were “hot” - I doubt I have to mention this to my readers but obviously this never ended well for them - but the dynamic with trans women is different.

Somewhere on tumblr last week I read about how sometimes black women understand misogyny in a slightly different way than white women, since black women tend to be more muscular and sometimes have features which are considered “masculine” from a white perspective. Certainly as a white person, east asian women sometimes love to play “femininity hierarchy” and humble-brag about their “tiny feet” and “tiny rib cage” to me.

As a woman with “unfeminine” physical features, validation of your attractiveness by men can certainly feel important, especially if you are attracted to men. I mean, I’ve certainly experienced this myself. So maybe there’s some similarity between the experience of heterosexual black women with “masculine” features, and androphilic trans women. But with trans women, and especially mtfs who transition as trans girls, it’s compounded by the fact that they often get teased and/or bullied for behaving in a way coded feminine. But also, autogynephilia is definitely part of this for trans women, though I’m not sure to what extent.

However, any validation based on physical beauty alone is actually a losing proposition for anyone. It’s like this great fitspo response about how to get a thigh gap: get new parents! (OP here.) Not everyone is beautiful, and not every so-called “legitimate” trans person is able to pass. When trans women base their own self-worth on their ability to pass, or their attractiveness to men, they’ve put their own happiness and welfare outside of their own control.

A much healthier way of framing personal empowerment is through actual personal empowerment, ie graduating from college, finding and holding a job that you like, taking care of your body, making friends who you can support through difficult times, taking care of pets and/or raising children, and giving back to your community. Meaning - the typical things that make adulthood meaningful for most human beings. Not living some weird fantasy about being a sexxay runway diva, who is only famous for having been born with a penis, but throws a hissy fit when anyone publicly mentions this fact.

Gallus Mag is totally correct that Janet is famous only for being trans, and nothing else. She’s never done anything else of note! Just like Carmen Carrera, who realistically nobody would care about if she didn’t have a penis because frankly there are plenty of “hot” women in the world. At least Laverne Cox can act, and (as Gallus mentions) Amanda Lepore and Calpernia Adams make music! As much as I hate the political activism of Morgan Page and Imogen Binnie, they have the distinction over the Red Durkins of the world that they perform, make music, and write.

In that sense, Janet’s present career is actually the same as her “fantasty prostitution” career - she’s selling the fact that she was born with a penis, but many people seem to think she’s female. She’s still selling her body, not her mind. As much as I feel like I hate her right now, I also feel really sorry. This is not going to end well.

where do you get off calling Janet Mock a white privileged MRA and saying she’s lying about her sex work? Again, bitch you’ve never met her. You don’t know her. Some of us do. Fuck off.

my god, the hatred for sex workers by class privileged white trans women is ludicrous on this website. go fuck yourself

If you had actually read what I wrote, you would have noticed that I had a large group of friends who were survival sex workers, many of whom are now dead between being violently murdered, getting AIDS, and crack/heroin addiction. None of those women (and men) went around glamorizing their lifestyle, at least when they’re weren’t on a crack high. It wasn’t glamorous, and it wasn’t safe, and they knew it.

A white woman who went to college writing a book about “empowerfullment by sex work” (aka Melissa Gira Grant) is a fucking tool. Good for her that she can turn tricks and then ask her parents for money if she needs it. My friends who didn’t have that option are all dead now. One of the reasons I’m still alive is because of my white privilege, I’ll be the first to admit. I always had other (less dangerous) options to get money.

So congrats for “schooling me” in your tags. I’m pretty sure Chanelle Pickett and Rita Hester would school you except - oh yeah, they’re fucking dead! :’(

Please get a reality check and please stay safe. I am not your enemy. In fact, I worry a lot about the men who are your enemy!

Seriously, this website sucks.
snowflakeespecial
can write a wonderful and well-thought put post, and some fools try to chap her ass about it? Fuck that. I’d tell these kids to try to live a day in her shoes, but the streets would eat them up and shit them out, and we’d be identifying them by their dental records.

I seriously wonder if any of these people who are so pro “sex work” have ever actually, yanno, done sex work. I’m not talking about taking on a “pay to play” dude from time to time to keep you in mojitos and Laboutins. I’m talking about actually fucking people to keep a roof over your goddamned head or to keep someone from beating the living hell out of you. I spent almost two decades working with young people who were either runaways or thrown away kids. Many of them were GNC, and I tell you I think Janet Mock is the most reprehensible form of life to even suggest that horror of prostitution could EVER be empowering, and especially not to the young people who are literally tortured there. And just for the record, I’m not white, though I’m sure some asshole will come along and say that being opposed to children being forced to fuck strangers to feed themselves. 

58 notes

Anonymous asked: My peak trans: I read a thing where a woman described meeting another woman training to be an OB/GYN. She said something like: she seemed really awesome but then said she wouldn't see trans women as patients because they don't have female reproductive systems. The op wrote this huge long rant about how horrid/tranphosbic/cissexist a fucking **OB/GYN** was for not taking on patients that literally don't have any of the anatomy she specializes in. Like what is she supposed to do at an appointment?

How could this even be a thing? I mean, did some trans woman call up an OB and ask for an appointment? Surely no one is that fucking clueless about basic anatomy. 

12 notes

Anonymous asked: man. "bunking with Bubba" in that porn post... because that isn't a racially loaded phrase, or is meant to conjure up fear of prison rape. Concise though.

appropriately-inappropriate:

godmadegirlslethal:

appropriately-inappropriate:

Seeing as how Bubba is the eponym for a big Good Ole Boy, at least where I’m from, it’s not racially loaded so much as potentially classist (if you really wanted to split hairs).

The original intent was more to point out that sex offenders, and especially those convicted of child sexual assaults, tend to have a very hostile prison experience.

My heart doesn’t exactly bleed for them, if you catch my drift.

In my area, Bubba is basically a term for a large black man. That may be what anon is referring to.

Really?! Oh, damnit, I didn’t know that.

(I wonder if that comes from the Forrest Gump reference?)

Nah, where I’m from, Bubba’s the colloquial for the Good Ole Boy with the big truck, the beer belly and the deeply-held conservative views.

Weird, how we all name the unpleasant stereotypes?

But that’s good to know, thank you! That’s a good thing to know, I’ll do my best to avoid the term.

I’m from the south and a Bubba is another word for the stereotypical white southern male. Never heard a black man being called Bubba. Though I suppose BayBay is the loose equivalent.

44 notes

Anonymous asked: The worst thing about this Fallon Fox thing is that the girl they beat up wasn't even really a "TERF" she didn't really say anything bad about trans people (at least not publicly) she respected Fallon's pronouns and everything. What made her a "TERF" and worthy of having her "blood spilled" in the eyes of these people is simply the fact that she was a lesbian (a "noisy black lesbian.")

appropriately-inappropriate:

God, really? Fox sounds nasty. This isn’t the first thing like this to happen involving them, is it?

That Facebook asshole called her a quasi terf and congratulated Fox on drawing her blood.

32 notes

http://genderpopo.tumblr.com/post/97900124518/admittedly-i-dont-know-that-much-about-sports

genderpopo:

Admittedly, I don’t know that much about sports, but I’m having trouble thinking of an instance where a man was badly hurt in a match or a game and his opponent continued to trashtalk him post-injury. No matter how much trashtalk occurred pre- game, once someone is hurt badly, the uninjured winner…

In order to be a good sportsman, he’d actually have to be an athlete. Fallon Fox is no athlete. He’s a batterer and a sadistic one at that. Of course, he doesn’t display sportsmanship. He has no respect for sport and is too busy getting off on beating women and being paid to do it. Sick fuck.. 

5 notes

genderpopo:

It kills me that women have had somewhat equal access to sports for less than 50 years, and we’re already being robbed of it by third-rate male athletes who decided to become women.

This pisses me the hell off too. I’m no athlete, but many women were given access to a college education through Title IX and I can see that becoming a thing of the past. My sister was a phenomenal softball player and gymnast and if there had been a Title IX at the time she could’ve gotten a college education. She was that good. Instead, I can foresee a day when all our progress is dismantled because “women’s” sports will be dominated by trans women. 

43 notes

bbrightstar:

Men should not be allowed to compete against women in gendered sports. Female fighters don’t sign up for Women’s MMA to take a beating from an ex-military male fighter. Stop.this.bullshit. 

49 notes

http://stfutransactivistbullies.tumblr.com/post/97846274319/yknow-what-i-dont-get-i-dont-get-why-male

stfutransactivistbullies:

Y’know what I don’t get? I don’t get why male athletes who are trans women don’t want to compete with other male athletes. Everyone knows that the real money to be made in sports is with the men, so why don’t they use their status as ‘women’ to help shatter that barrier, so women in general would…

And most of them are past their prime. So even if they were once able to compete against men, they certainly can’t now. That MMA boxer is nearly forty. Most of the women he’s fighting are in their twenties. I assume that male fighters are of similar age. That basketball player is in his fifties. So basically this is an opportunity for failed old white dudes to relive their nonexistent glory days. At women’s expense and at risk of our lives.

64 notes

Fallon Fox harassing Tamikka after knocking her unconsious (with tweets) · wwomenwwarriors

stfutransactivistbullies:

I checked Fallon Fox’s twitter page, and it’s real.  Someone tell that person to stop acting like an ungracious turkey.

80 notes

notcisjustwoman:

The celebration over black lesbian Tamikka Brents suffering severe injury and broken eye bones during her “MMA fight” with male misogynist Boyd Burton AKA Fallon Fox is transparently racist.

White males are literally cheering the “spilling of her blood.”

No way in hell would Fox have dared to beat a het white woman that way. Racism and blatant homophobia. Just fucked up.

91 notes

Fallon Fox: Why Hormones Don’t Make a Woman

snowflakeespecial:

Excellent and comprehensive article by Gallus Mag about the reality of trans participation in sports. As Gallus points out, the Olympic committee’s adoption of hormone levels as the basis of sex only benefits males who now take estrogen and want to compete as women. The IOC now requires female and female-side-of-intersex athletes with “too high” testosterone levels to undergo surgery or hormonal therapy! It’s absolutely insane. Naturally, there is no “testosterone limit” for males - well except for males who can’t hack it in the male division, but realize that with hormones they can become elite competitors in the women’s division.

Gallus’s insight is keen: have you ever heard of an ftm athlete transitioning and competing at elite levels among males? Of course not! The big challenge for Kye Allums was to remain eligible to play on a women’s team - do you really think he has any chance of making the NBA? Hell no.

And on the other side, when Lana Lawless decided at the age of ~58~ to become a “women’s professional golfer”, she was winning all the long-drive competitions by one hundred yards! A nobody from the world of men’s golf was hitting the ball 33% farther than the best women!

Gallus is 100% dead on, as she often is: the campaigns for the “rights” of trans athletes are simply a male rights movement, that doesn’t benefit trans female (ftm) athletes in any way, and on a broad scale hurts women.

I highly encourage everyone to read the full article. And I also encourage people to think about the realities of sex, especially when it comes to combat sports. Elite male athletes routinely bench press in the 400-500 pound range. Elite female athletes are more likely to top out around 150 pounds on bench press. That’s a HUGE advantage when you go to throw a punch, and it is 100% physical.

Oh, and not that it needs to be said, but FUCK Boyd “Fallon Fox” Burton.